For most people staying motivated is hard. Fact. It doesn’t make us bad people, it just means we need a little extra help to keep moving forward. Let’s face it the ideas are all very well and there a thousand books to help us achieve these dreams, ready and waiting for us to open and consume them but until we actually do it they’re not worth the paper they’re printed on. The ideas remain vague thoughts we are aware exist somewhere but we give them fleeting thought and determine, perhaps, to come back to them at some point…and so the time passes and the dream stays an dream.
The process of beginning a task, especially one we loathe or are afraid of, is a significant one. Sometimes we are inspired, other times we are forced by circumstances like work. Placing ourselves into a set of circumstances that create the desire and need to begin our process is the key.
Then, of course, it’s not just starting it’s the maintaining. It’s why schemes like diet clubs have meetings and competitions. Anything to motivate. To keep you working towards your goal. The dream. Because most of us do truly want that something, that goal, but find the obstacles sometimes a little too high, too tempting, too tiring or too demoralising.
Let’s consider the following:
- Be sure you want it. Truly and absolutely. Search the very bowels of your mind and heart. (See below)
- Really think about it. Be realistic and honest with yourself and the possibilities. What are your weak points?
- Break down your own ‘feelings’ and emotions about what you are attempting and going to achieve. This takes time and is a vital stage in the process before you take a single step. The mental blocks and pathways of failure and self doubt are the hidden traps that will sink the idea before it has a fair chance. Don’t let it!
- Visualise it thoroughly (bright colours and use every sense) and then do this for a few minutes every day.
- Break down the goal into realistic, manageable, nibble sized pieces. Make lists! They rock! Don’t go crazy at first – just ease yourself into your new way of thinking and behaving.
- Put into place some schemes and tricks to help you stay on course.
- Dream/mood boards
- Classes/groups
- Life coaches
- Always think positively. Practise this tenaciously.
- Find inspiration everywhere. It is actually all around you. See it in the people and world around you. Get it from the books, art, television, the web, anywhere that the steps you are taking to achieve your dream life are being discussed, praised and supported.
- Build in LOADS of treats and many places to PRAISE yourself for all your hard work. You’ve started already after all…!
- Start the whole process with love. Don’t be too hard on yourself and begin the failure before you’ve even started!
Self sabotage comes in many ways. A classic is putting a photo of a super model on your fridge door to ‘remind’ you of your goal each me you go open it. No! All it does is unconsciously reinforce the belief that you’ll never match that creature. You aren’t supposed to!! You’re doing the perfect thing for you not them! That’s a model. It’s an unreality. Please don’t torture yourself. Enough people will make you feel bad without doing it to yourself. They may not intend to but an ill thought out phrase or throw away comment can ruin your day. Yes, it’d be lovely if we could all just shrug it off. The old water -off-a-ducks-back routine but sadly we can’t…
Confidence, focus and direction are key elements in keeping ourselves motivated towards achieving our goals. Explore these themes and try to drench yourself in their brilliance. We’ll discuss these and more next time…but I’m going to leave you with this thought…
I believe people do the things they want to. Or conversely don’t do the things they don’t want to do. That simple process is the complexity that we must dissect to see if therein lies the root of our unwillingness to begin. Let’s use the example of Person A wishing to and being vocal about losing weight. The mental process that exists here before a single calorie is considered is immense. The psychology of why people diet and obsess about their weight is the subject of a gazillion books and articles so let’s just try to see why Person A might not be ‘getting around to it’. Procrastination isn’t a disease it’s a choice…
So, first, I’m going to start with a contentious question, ‘Does Person A actually want to lose weight?’ I mean really, truly, absolutely? It’s a contested psyche question as to whether people are truly just following the path of their unconscious desires. A path decided and resolutely followed by the brain and body without our conscious mind realising. The conscious mind, therefore, just factoring in the results and coping with the consequences of the unconscious mind and it’s decision making. Ultimately we have to actually, truly want to do something before we can achieve it. Obvious? Well, lets return to Person A and ‘their weight’. ‘I try and I can’t do it!’ How much does Person A want it? Enough to find a way? Enough to fight for it? Enough to work hard and suffer?
Difficult things to achieve come at a cost. Time, resources, emotions – but if we want the result, want it absolutely, then these are but necessary evils. And there’s no short cuts people. These only lead to further problems or, ultimately, a return to that awful place called square one. If a choice is made to start down a path to achieving the dream we want then the exciting thing is that, done properly, it will change our lives for the good, we will never be the same again and we won’t ever go back…goodbye square one…